It’s Lauren Conrad! I mean, Kristin Cavallari! I mean - ah, screw it.

Here is what I know about Heidi Montag: I know she’s from some alternate Hollywood reality show universe, where women whom indulge in plastic surgeries are called feminist heroes; she’s dating some dude named Spencer Pratt, who looks like the King of the Douches; she falsely believes she has musical talent; she’s in the fashion industry, like so many other useless reality show tarts who think they have talent.

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Joel: “No, we don’t know where Paris and Benji are!”

Paris Hilton and Benji Madden’s media fame train must be more powerful than I give them credit for. I almost forgot about Nicole Richie and Joel Madden, whom I hold responsible for Paris and Benji’s sickening media presence, and thus are responsible for Paris Hilton NEVER GOING AWAY.

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One smoking hot vampire, the milky skinned Dita Von Teese comes out of her coffin.

Here’s the lovely Dita Von Teese at the Coachella festival the other day. Dita is looking very… Dita-esque. I might laugh if it were someone else, but Dita pulls off this campy look by adding her own classy style. I mean, I’m not used to seeing freakishly pale Dita in the sun, so I would only expect that she would wear some kind of festive hat and carry an umbrella. I bet if you leave her out in the sun too long, she turns into Rachel Evan Wood.

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Mimi is helped through the crowd, so that none of the little people maim her hotness

Yes, I’m posting about Mariah Carey again. Bitch is everywhere nowadays! Running around, looking fabulous for her little lambs. I will say that her face does look quite beautiful, although I’m sure it’s buried under several layers of make-up.

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Does this look like the type of girl who would star in a home sex tape? Ignore the stain on her dress.

Last week, the infamous Lohan/Calum Best sex tape surfaced to the internet masses. After much debate, it was confirmed that the tape was, indeed, a fake. However, it appears that Lindsay was the last to know, as Linds was overheard bellowing over Calum Best’s voicemail:

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With spring in the air, simple sandals are coming out in full force. A spring/summer must have is the always essential flip-flop. Flip-flops are the perfect answer to a casual summer day. Below, we see a picture of my favourite Barbie doll, Pam Anderson, wearing her flip-flops:

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Ashlee Simpson, minus her siamese hair twin, Pete Wentz

It’s amazing how different Ashlee Simpson looks. I never thought she was unattractive before the nose job, in fact, I thought her old nose gave her face some character. Now she just looks like a Disney character. Cute, yes; but increasingly annoying, until you just wish Cruella DeVille would come along and turn her into a coat. And then Jessica Simpson can wear that coat to celebrate her return to being the “good looking Simpson sister”.

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Nicole: “Don’t cha wish your girlfriend had herpes like me?”

This is a snap shot from the runway of a recent Robin Antin lingerie show during L.A. Fashion Week. If you’re not familliar with Antin, she’s an accomplished coreographer who’s responsible for inflicting the Pussycat Dolls on the world. The woman in the forefront of that picture is, indeed, Nicole Scherzinger from the Pussycat Dolls.

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Is Carrie Bradshaw being fashionable with this dress? Or trying to smuggle illegal goods over the border?

Here’s more shots from the Sex and the City movie set. It’s just another picture of Sarah Jessica Parker wearing something I wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole. Unless the pole was a ten foot torch, and I was lighting her dress on fire.

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Here’s Kanye West and fiancée Alexis Phifer at a Fendi store opening during Paris Fashion Week. A designer herself, Alexis has somehow found a heterosexual male who obviously feels as passionately about fashion as she does. The fact that it’s the very sexy and talented Kanye West is just icing on the cake. I’ve never seen Alexis’ work, but I would be very interested in seeing what the girl who snagged the Louis Vuitton Don can do.

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Photo Courtesy of Instyle

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Here’s Lindsay, looking fabulous. I believe this is what’s known as Lindsay’s “blue steel” face.

This photo was taken at a Dolce & Gabbana show, where Lindsay modeled her best Dolce & Gabbana duds. Her shoes are a black, platform mary jane with peep toes - and this their third appearance on Shoehunting.com.

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When did little Stacey Ferguson turn eighty?

Source: Dlisted

Here’s Fergie on her way to a Marc Jacobs show at NYC Fashion Week. I don’t quite know what kind of statement she’s trying to make with her outfit, but the blue mumu thing isn’t working for me. It’s not very flattering on her at all. It doesn’t show off Ferg’s fit body - I cannot see her humps, her humps, her lovely lady lumps. Neither in the back nor in the front. She’s looking quite the mess in this photo - her outfit says “I love Matlock” while her face says “Pass the bong.”

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Photo Courtesy of Vogue (Left to Right: Sophia Kokosalaki, Alberta Ferretti, Proenza Schouler) Read the rest of this entry »