Dear Katie Holmes,I get the impression that you’re making an attempt at prying your way into fashion iconica. You seem to work very hard at looking fashionable… However the results end up looking like fashionista on the top, Huck Finn on the bottom. The jeans, Katie… Seriously, what the hell is this about? I get that you may be trying to “define your look”, but I suggest steering away from any look that compliments a raft on the Mississippi River.I do like the shoes. Metallic flats by Lanvin, no? Very trendy, very comfortable, and they suit you well. They do not, however, suit the demin “I Dream of Jeannie” pants. Are you preparing for global warming induced flooding? Please, try pairing these chic flats with skinny jeans or a skirt. These are a bit better than wearing these hideous pants with reptile gladiators, but the problem wasn’t the shoes, it was the pants. And these pants are KILLING these beautiful shoes. Please amend.Thanks,Stiletto PumpedP.S. Suri has got to be one of the cutest alien babies I have ever seen!For a pair of metallic flats like Katies, try the Kenneth Cole Reaction “Dancing Queen”:Dlisted

When I first got a glimpse of these, a whole story came to mind: A brazen Cookie Monster stole a slew of Krispy Kreme doughnuts, causing the company to put a bounty on his head. The Cookie Monster being as tricky and conniving as he is (never mess with a monster on that much of a sugar high!), he offered Oscar the Grouch up as a substitue, who was then skinned and turned into a pair of flip-flops.Well, I soon realized that not only was I wrong, I was drunk and watching Sesame Street. These flip-flops were, indeed, created by doughnut moguls Krispy Kreme, however, they are not made from the fur of a slaughtered muppet. These flip-flops feature grass, real grass on the sole to replicate the feeling of walking on a crisp, summer lawn. All the good feelings of summer, with none of the disapointment of stepping in a dog pile - like a Chia Pet you wear on your feet.You do need to “grow” these flip-flops before use, which takes about three weeks, and you do need to water and take care of your “lawn” in order for it to stay green. I wonder if you can grow a billowy meadow on your shoes if you don’t cut it… Or if instead of gross smelling sandal feet, you get the smell of fresh cut grass on your feet. These are currently only available in the UK, so if anybody over the pond has tried these out, let us know! What do you think of Krispy Kreme’s grass flip-flops?Digg

Everytime I see Miley Cyrus, she’s either wearing a pair of boots, or close to nothing at all.

This is Miley at the 2008 Teen Choice Awards, wearing a pair of slouchy, suede boots, similar to the Type Z “Clementina”. Despite the fact that these slouchy monstrosities create cankles on young Miley where there are none, it appears that the slouchy suede look is one of her faves:

Read the rest of this entry »

This high-heeled shoe is made out of Croslite. You heard me right. This is a Croc shoe.

Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s Alexis Bledel at the premiere for the Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants 2. Alexis looks very sleek and stylish in this ruffly one-shoulder dress. I would probably hate if it weren’t for the fact that this girl seems to actually make this unique style work.

Alexis paired her dress with a pair of strappy black heels by Alaia. I love the look of these heels. Just elaborate enough to compliment the dress, while still being reserved enough not to overwhelm her look.

Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s the lesser of two evils, Nicky Hilton, at Barney’s the other day. The bag-like dress hanging off her twiggy frame isn’t really doing it for me, but I’m just happy I’m not looking at Paris. I sometimes forget about Nicky. I imagine it must get cold and lonely in the shadow of Paris’ overwhelming sluttery and skankeration.

Apparently Nicky is a fashion designer now - which seems to be the chosen profession of useless, spoiled rich girls (Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag, I’m looking in your direction). I hope this bag-dress-fedora combination isn’t walking down her runway, but I do like the Steve Madden sandals on her feet. Nicky’s wearing the Steven by Steve Madden “Banglez” gladiator sandal. These sandals feature trendy stud details, similar to the popular Balenciaga studded gladiators - but for far less bucks.

Read the rest of this entry »

Fergie shows off her gladiators, and some ass cheek

Fergie took the stage the other night to shake her fergilicious ass in a pair of shorts that many have referred to as “mom shorts” - however, I think they can only be classified as that if your mom is Pamela Anderson. I mean, sure, they go up to her boobs, but they only cover about half her ass. I actually did have a friend who’s mother wore shorts like these. Her name was Candy and her breath smelled like tequila and beer.

Read the rest of this entry »

Why howdy, Jessica.

Here’s Jessica Simpson performing at Country Thunder in Wisconsin. Jessica has decided to switch from soulless pop music to fluffy country music and this music festival was her big country debut. Jessica took the big stage in her daisy dukes, and it turns out that Dolly Parton she is not. Poor Jess was booed for her entire performance. Apparently, it takes more than a pair of cowboy boots to make you a country star.

Read the rest of this entry »

Why does today’s gladiator trend demand that everyone’s legs look like they’re in bondage?

Here’s MK Olsen leaving her boyfriend’s house wearing a pair of gladiators by Chanel. I don’t think I’d wear a pair of these, but I will say that MK does pull them off. They go hand in hand with her unique style. I still have visions of whips and chains and dominatrices in my head when I look at them. Perhaps it’s just visions of my true life calling.

Read the rest of this entry »

There’s a fringe trend upon us. Behold:

Here’s LC out and about in a pair of blue, fringed-ankle sandals. I’m not opposed to the fringe trend; many designers have gotten it right, like the Betsey Johnson “Hipster” or many of the moccasin inspired boots from Minnetonka. However, LC’s sandals aren’t doing it for me. The Fug Girls have already expressed disdain at LC’s footwear choice, and made the valid point that walking around with these things on your ankles would be a bit irritating. I personally don’t think they’re flattering at all and I wouldn’t wear a shoe that looks like it needs to be combed.

Read the rest of this entry »

I love Lindsay Lohan more and more everyday. I’m close to being the president of her frekin’ fan club. And I like her even more now that she’s a lesbian! Just look at Sam and Linds together! Do they not look like the cutest, happiest power lesbian couple in the universe? Like they will have a beautiful life, with beautiful lesbian-raised children, concieved with the sperm of some rediculously famous male, who’s identity will be kept secret from the public until they do a big cover story with Rolling Stone? I can’t wait.

As I’ve said before, I also love Lohan for her often regretable - but always interesting - fashion choices. Case in point: Leggings. Lindsay Lohan defined the 2000-era legging craze - a trend that I hate - but I also respect her ability to take such an obviously horrible trend and shove it down our throats like Starbuck’s-flavoured ecstasy, if not only for the reason that I get to write about it. For example:

Read the rest of this entry »

Shauna says, “Bow down before your lucite queen!”

I get the impression that Shauna Sand might be into bondage. Or at least her legs are.

Read the rest of this entry »

Here’s one of England’s biggest fashion exports, Agyness Deyn, out and about with boyfriend Albert Hammond Jr. of the Strokes. Agyness has been referred to as “the next Kate Moss”, and it’s easy to see why.Unique personal style only suited to tall, waify blonde models: Check.Bedhead hair that still somehow looks sexy: Check.Tall, lanky boyfriend from some indie-sounding rock band who wears pants that are too tight scrambling after her: Check.It appears that Agyness is well on her way to becoming fashion royalty!Agyness is wearing a pair of wingtips in the above picture, a style I haven’t seen on women in a while. This style of shoe always reminds me of Elaine on Seinfeld, and her love of saddle shoes from the classy Botticelli’s. Agyness Deyn is rocking this classic look, in a cute pink colour. For something similar, check out these:This is the Ted Baker “Daniels” pink wingtip. Wingtips are generally men’s shoes, but can easily worn by a stylish woman in two sizes below her normal size. Wear these to add some pizazz to a pair of jeans.Just Jared

Amy Winehouse looks like a baby giraffe trying to get it’s footing as her spindly legs wobble atop her Christian Louboutin platforms.

Read the rest of this entry »

I would absolutely love to raid Dita Von Teese’s shoe closet. She’s always wearing such wonderful heels. Like these. Or these. Or these:

Read the rest of this entry »