This past spring and summer, actress Gwyneth Paltrow gained a reputation for wearing killer high heels - many of which reached as high as seven inches, like these by Guiseppe Zanotti.

Heels have been getting higher and higher over the past year, with super high heels from Chanel that caused models to tumble down the runway, and the “Victoria” platform from Giambattista Valli - named for, of course, Victoria Beckham. Not surprising for a woman who teeters around on shoes like these.

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Okay Posh, I’ll be reasonable. I might also walk around in these bad boys if I had an able-bodied soccer boy to hang off of:

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Here’s Posh in Manchester promoting her fashion line. She looked quite heavenly in a white Giambattista Valli dress that made her appear to have angel wings when looking front on. When she turned around however, it was revealed that Posh’s dress had a white fur back. A girl’s gotta look fabulous while she’s hiking through the arctic tundra!

I think the dress is lovely from the front, but I’m not sure how I feel about the back view. It looks a little unflattering and puts images in my head of Posh Backham clubbing baby harp seals with Christian Louboutin shoes, then tossing them in a Louis Vuitton carry all. Posh is, indeed, wearing Louboutins - although I’m not entirely sure that she clubbed any baby seals with them. These sky-high pumps look fantastic with the dress, and even with a back as furry as Robin Williams, Posh pulls this look off.

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Well if this isn’t the cutest thing I’ve ever seen.

At first, I thought that maybe Paris Hilton’s shoe line had started making shoes for babies, y’know, “Baby’s first hooker shoe, by Paris”. You know she’s the type of girl who wants to start the sluttery and skankeration at a young age. I soon learned that these are part of line of novelty crib shoes called “Heelarious”. If Posh had baby girls, you know these would be on their feet right out of the frekin’ womb.

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Posh looks pissy after Beck’s steals her heels - revenge for her stealing his testicles.

Here’s Posh and Becks at Disneyland the other day. I know; I almost didn’t recognize her either, sans a pair of sky-high heels!

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TomKat makes Corey Hart proud.

Here’s Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, as they are dropped off by their mothership at Posh Beckham’s birthday party last night. I can only assume that they’re wearing sunglasses at night to block the glare off of Katie’s shiny, 70’s chesterfield dress. Either that, or it’s to protect their retinas from Posh’s amazing, super radiant fabulousness.

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Victoria Beckham celebrated a more casual dinner with her family in LA which contrasted from her celebrity filled bash at the Beverly Hills Hotel.

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Above: Posh is so Vogue in this pose

When Posh is confronted by a photog’s flashing camera, she instantly slips into one of her serious (and well rehearsed) poses. It’s as if she was a supermodel in another life, but her reincarnation fell inches short from falling into the set standard.

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Fergie burn burn burn burns it to the wick. Oooooh, barra barracuda!

Idol Gives Back took place the other night, featuring performances from a whole slew of artists, including Fergie. She’s looking pretty good here, a million times better than the last time we saw her. She’s wearing those damn leather leggings, but I’m not going to lie, she looks pretty damn hot in them. Posh Beckham, watch your back!

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Victoria Beckham’s outfit just screams “It’s Posh, bitches.”

Here’s Victoria Beckham, looking fabulous in her giant glamazon sunglasses and apt cleavage. The bolero she’s wearing is allegedly faux fur, which means that instead of a rabbit, Posh just slaughtered a teddy bear.

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Posh Beckham is on the edge of fashion.

For example:

Supertight leather pants? Pleather leggings? Or is it just paint? Just one of the many mysteries of the one we call Posh.

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EVA LONGORIA: Oh, Vicky, I’m just so glad we did this.
POSH: Me too. It’s great to be seen with people who are less fabulous than myself.
EVA: What?
POSH: Nothing. Say, Eve, let me tell you some tricks for the camera.
EVA: It’s Eva.
POSH: Whatever. Look, never smile for the paps. Always look cold and fierce, like a magnificent mannequin. Smiles are for children and ugly people.
EVA: I really appreciate all your advice.
POSH: I’m an author, you know.
EVA: I really love your patent leather, Christian Louboutin heels.
POSH: I really love your… Ah, bollocks. We’re almost at the store, we’ll find you something. That outfit is a little too housewifey… Kinda desperate. Like that show.
EVA: I’m on that show!
POSH: Whatever.

For a pair of patent leather pumps like Posh’s Louboutins (complete with the red soles), try the Oh Deer! Garbo:

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What you are seeing is correct. The above photo is of a one Posh Beckham in sneakers. Beside her, lovable lesbian chic Ellen in a pair of stilettos.

You have now entered the bizarro fashion universe.

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Here’s Posh Beckham on the way to the Pink Taco for little Cruz Beckham’s birthday party. I sometimes forget that Posh is mother. I look at her and figure there’s no way she could possibly reproduce without giving birth to a barbie doll. I guess Posh proves that you can be a 34 year old mother of three and look like a twenty five year old mother of fashion…. So long as you’re a former pop star married to a famous soccer player.

I don’t always agree with Posh’s fashion choices, but I will say she always looks flawless, even when wearing animal print dresses with her pink bra slipping out. I tend to think that she may be some kind of cyborg from a very stylish future where those who aren’t fabulous are ostracized from society. Oh wait, isn’t that Hollywood? My bad. Well, Posh certainly has her own unique style that perfectly captures her obvious passion for fashion, even if it doesn’t capture the heart of Mr. Blackwell.

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The Olsen twins scare the bejesus out of me.

They always have that expressionless, non-smiling look on their face as if they’re robots, or aliens, or trying to burn holes into my soul with their DEAD EYES. That’s why I like this picture of Mary-Kate Olsen. Sure, she looks like an eighty year old blind woman, but at least I can’t see those big eyes that once belonged to Michelle Tanner, and now belong to Hollywood.

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