I had a nightmare last night. In it, I was trapped in Lindsay Lohan’s walk-in closet, fending off trecherous leggings, one for every colour of the rainbow - from hooker pink, to Red Bull yellow, to cocaine white. I awoke in a frenzied panic, covered in sweat. Later on today, I stumbled across this photo of Lindsay, hinting that she may indeed have a closet full of leggings of every shade:

Source: A Socialite’s Life

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Source: A Socialite’s Life

Here’s Lindsay Lohan stopping for some type celebri-coffee in Santa Monica. As you can see, she has turned a deaf ear to my protests and substituted those hideous black leggings for pants once again. I don’t care what anyone says, there’s no way this kid is OFF drugs. I think this is what happens when you do too much cocaine. Eventually, your ego swells up so much that you begin to think that you are too good for pants… above pants… Beyond pants! When actually you’re just a bad actress who looks like a bottle-blonde hooker.

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When I first saw this picture of Michael and Lindsay Lohan, I thought that Lindsay looked quite chic in her black ensemble. Then I looked closer and realized that she wasn’t wearing any pants again. Lindsay, first step in battling a sex addiction: PUT ON SOME PANTS. This is the kind of outfit that Linds must have come up with after too much “strawberry kwik”, if you know what I mean. If Miss Lohan had chosen to wear a skirt or a nice pair of skinny black pants, this outfit would be very stylish. As it is, Linds looks a wee bit like some kind of goth sorority girl wandering the streets in the wee hours of the morning, wondering where she left her pants. However, this does not change the fact that her tall boots are über-hot.

Linds is wearing a model very similar to these ones by Via Spiga:

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Source: In Case You Didn’t Know

Supermodel Elle Macpherson was spotted in Ugg Classic Tall boots while surfing in Sydney, Australia on Christmas day. Apparently Elle forgot to wear pants, but if my nickname was “The Body” maybe I’d be ambivalent towards pants as well.

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