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Fabulous Shoes Out In The Wild
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So, Vanessa. We meet again.
I don’t know why this girl enjoys cankle-inducing footwear so much, but here she is again, sashaying around in some kind of ultra-shiny super-cuffed pirate wench-dominatrix boot. I can’t say that I absolutely hate these boots, but I sure as hell bet her ankles do. What’s with kids today?! Or is it just these girls from High School Musical who like to fug up their ankles?
Don’t be alarmed. That burning sensation you’re feeling is nothing but your skin sizzling due to Gisele’s overwhelming hotness:
I would be lying if I said I didn’t have a soft spot for Christina Aguilera. Xtina’s electro-pop influenced performance at the 2008 MTV VMAs was one of my personal highlights. The girl can sing, and even though I’m not a huge fan of her hooker make-up, she generally looks super-hot.
Diva Xtina was spotted at a Rock the Vote event in LA the other night, and I love her go-go inspired look. I adore the simple black and white dress - reminiscent of the famous “Stupid Girl” dress once worn by Shirley Manson. The leather tall boots really complete the look. Xtina, like a true diva, is wearing Christian Louboutin’s “Ginerva” tall boot:
Everytime I see Miley Cyrus, she’s either wearing a pair of boots, or close to nothing at all.
This is Miley at the 2008 Teen Choice Awards, wearing a pair of slouchy, suede boots, similar to the Type Z “Clementina”. Despite the fact that these slouchy monstrosities create cankles on young Miley where there are none, it appears that the slouchy suede look is one of her faves:
“Every career thing I do can’t be perfect.” How articulate of Miley.
Here’s Miley Cyrus on the cover of Billboard magazine. She looks so incredibly bubbly and cheery, bursting with toothy, animated joy - almost as if the Disney Corporation built a magic kingdom in her ass. I suppose it’s not so much that there’s actually a magic kingdom in her ass, and moreso that she herself is the great white stallion that Disney will ride until Hannah Montana goes the way of Lizzie McGuire.
So, the word is that Madonna is divorcing from director husband, Guy Ritchie. Maybe Guy got sick of being referred to as “The Wife”. No official announcement has been made, but if they do divorce, I will once again be able to sleep at night, knowing that there will never be another movie like Swept Away.
Here’s Gwyneth Paltrow leaving a restaurant after an early morning breakfast in NYC. Paltrow was in town supporting her husband’s band Coldplay at their Madison Square Gardens gig. Gwynnie is wearing a pair of brown leather Christian Louboutin sandals on her feet, a pair of which I am quite envious. Check them out:
I do not like Sienna Miller. I personally feel that a chimp could dress better than her. That’s why I was so shocked when I came across this photo of Sienna with Keira Knightly promoting their new movie The Edge of Love.
Girl who’s bad acting cries like wind
Is there some new Pocahontas trend on which I’m missing out?
Here’s Lindsay Lohan at Diddy’s yacht party the other night. With her is Samantha Ronson, Lindsay’s BFF or lesbian girlfriend, depending on who you talk to. I think Lindsay looks spectacular here. Her hair looks sleek and shiny, her dress is beautiful and her skin doesn’t look as freakily orange as it usually does. Lindsay is pulling off the perfect lipstick lesbian look.
Crack buddies!
What you are seeing is correct. This is a photo of Amy Winehouse out and about with Pete Doherty the other night. As a warning, if you stare directly at the photo, you will get a contact high.
Look, we’ve all fallen in our high heels before. The trick is to avoid doing it on film. Just ask Fergie:
Nicole tries to hide under her giant hat and sunglasses, but everyone knows that nobody else
in the world would wear this except for her
Here’s Nicole Richie, sans Joel and Harlow, at her court ordered traffic school classes. Nicole was of course ordered to take these classes after recieving a DUI in December 2006. Let’s hope the new mother now has a “Baby on Board” sticker on her car for the next time she’s driving the wrong way down a freeway.
Joel: “No, we don’t know where Paris and Benji are!”
Paris Hilton and Benji Madden’s media fame train must be more powerful than I give them credit for. I almost forgot about Nicole Richie and Joel Madden, whom I hold responsible for Paris and Benji’s sickening media presence, and thus are responsible for Paris Hilton NEVER GOING AWAY.
Even Lindsay can’t keep a straight face while wearing this.
Lindsay appears to be leggings free here, however, her outfit leads me to believe that she lost a bet. Either that, or she got separated from the hooker marching band parade.
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