Fergie burn burn burn burns it to the wick. Oooooh, barra barracuda!

Idol Gives Back took place the other night, featuring performances from a whole slew of artists, including Fergie. She’s looking pretty good here, a million times better than the last time we saw her. She’s wearing those damn leather leggings, but I’m not going to lie, she looks pretty damn hot in them. Posh Beckham, watch your back!

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Back in blonde, like a female Angus Young with less talent and more leggings.

Oh, Lindsay. Back to that horrible blonde hair and leggings. It’s always one step forward, two steps back for this girl, isn’t it?

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Jessica Simpson is nothing but an empty vessel filled with the Ugg. Y’know, instead of just being an empty vessel.

The Uggs are still attacking at full force! Jessica Simpson appears to have been hit by the Uggs fairly hard. The inherent bad fashion of the Ugg spread all the way up her body fairly quickly, as we can see by her baggy shirt and track pants combo. We need to be prepared. The Uggs are getting harder, better, faster, stronger, and not in the sexy Kanye West way.

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Bringing sexy back

Here’s Tom Brady and Gisele Bündchen, wearing their shades, because the combined power of their sexiness could blind someone. That’s why the dude in the forefront has his back to them. It’s like the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark. Look away, or their beauty will melt your face off.

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Mariah invites you to touch her body

Hoochie Mariah in London!

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Uggs and leggings. I’m surprised Liv didn’t break the camera lens.

Stay calm, everyone. Liv Tyler has been captured by the UGG.

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Horton hears a bad fashion choice

Here’s Jaime Pressly as she arrives at the Late Show with David Letterman to promote her voice work in Horton Hears a Who! All seems well, but if you look closely, you’ll notice that Jaime posesses weapons of mass fugliness. That’s right, folks. The Ugg boot has captured Jaime Pressly.

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Naomi’s mother drags her away before she attacks the camera man

Better put on a helmet. Naomi is coming this way.

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The world prepares for another fashion challenged Lohan.

Lindsay Lohan was out the other night with her younger sister, Ali. I’m happy to see that Lindsay’s wearing a dress, as oppose to just a shirt. I actually don’t mind what she’s wearing. The furry/shiny jacket is kind of fugly, and I don’t care for the material of the dress, but I’m just happy her ass isn’t showing.

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Paris: “Benji, what colour are my eyes?” Benji: “Nipple?”

Here’s Paris Hilton at a club in Las Vegas with her boy of the mintute, Benji Madden. Don’t they look cute? Benji staring at Paris’ boobs, Paris loving it because she’s dead inside and lives off of the attention of others. Paris was recently seen wearing a diamond encrusted ring that says BM on her engagement finger. People are speculating that it may be an engagement ring, but I think it’s just Paris and Benji whoring out their fake relationship for attention in the tabloids. And it’s working.

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What is it with supermodels and Uggs?

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Madonna’s back! The Material Girl just released a song with Justin Timberlake titled “Four Minutes” which will be featured on her new CD Hard Candy. The song also features hitmaker Timbaland. I’m eagerly anticipating hearing “Beat Goes On”, a track on Hard Candy featuring rapping ego, Kanye West. I imagine those two could make some hot music together.

The amalgomation of talent like Timberlake, Timbaland and Kanye is a perfect example of Madonna’s undying business sense. She knows who to work with in order to keep herself relevant. I think this is Madonna’s way of feasting on the blood of the young in order to keep stamina for her pilates.

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Here’s Lindsay Lohan, pantless again, sporting another shade of leggings. Sometimes I wonder if her leggings are crotchless and thus, she never takes them off. Lindsay’s kind of the fashion equivalent of Jim Morrison. Not in that she has sexy rock star style, or talent for that matter, but Jim apparently never took off his skin tight leather pants. However, I will give Jim this much: at least he wore pants, and didn’t flash his ass everytime he bent over. Well, not accidently anyway.

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Here’s Lindsay Lohan leaving a dinner date with her mom, Dina and sister, Ali. Linds looks like she was going for the “Goth Ski Bunny” look. Wearing the remains of a dead crow and leggings that look as though they would cause Linds to fly down a toboggan hill on her ass at the speed of light, Lindsay exited the restaurant with a white stain on her shirt. I guess that joke writes itself.

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Another day, more Britney gossip. This time, it seems she’s running out of money. Rumour has it that Britney’s finances are quickly dwindling, due to her excessive spending. Who knew cheetos and frappuccinos could have such an effect on a pop star’s riches?

Britney has had so much success in the past that it’s hard to believe that she could be running out of money. And didn’t she just release a new album? Where did it all go? Methinks most of Britney’s money went into the pockets of meth dealers, Starbucks and Kevin Federline. What a waste.

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