Tonight, I had a conversation with a male co-worker of mine about Heidi Montag. These are his exact words about the plastic surgery addicted Mrs. Pratt:
“I don’t find Heidi Montag attractive. You can quote me on that.”
So I did.
I wonder what it’s like to go through such excessive plastic surgery. I wonder what it would be like to wake up one day, look in the mirror and see someone completely different staring back at me. I also wonder what it would be like to wake up one day with nippled bowling balls growing out my chest. I hope Heidi’s got good chiropractor, because those things look like they have their own zip code. The only good that can come from this is if her gargantuan breasts one day suffocate husband/professional douchebag Spencer Pratt. You can quote me on that. And to quote The Superficial:
“[Heidi Montag] won’t stop enlarging her breasts until they dwarf our yellow sun.”
Well said.
Heidi took her boobs out for a walk in a pair of Christian Louboutin “Luly” peep-toe mary janes. I don’t see how anyone other than a hooker would think that 5 1/2″ heels are the right choice for shorts and a tank top, but then again, this is not the first time Heidi has abused Louboutins to achieve trasherific skankery. I’m sure Heidi’s clothing choice had less to do with fashion and more to do with showing off her new chesticles. Mission accomplished, girl. Now put them away before they take out somebody’s eye, or draw small animals into their gravitational pull.
Obviously, a girl that can drop thousands of dollars on a new face and body can afford Louboutins, but for those of us on a leaner budget, check out the Carlos by Carlos Santana “Bliss”:
The “Bliss” has the added benefit in being available in chic crocodile print. What do you think of Heidi’s new body and hot shoes?
