I know three things about Kelis: She was married to Nas, she’s a boss bitch, and her milkshake allegedly brings all the boys to the yard. Here’s a question, though: Does her milkshake still do the same when she’s wearing this?
Does it Kelis? Is your milkshake still bringing boys to the yard? Or just Lady Gaga? Hermaphrodite rumours aside, the Gaga doesn’t count as a boy.
Kelis wore this get up to the Data Awards on Thursday night. While I give her credit in that the boots make her legs look incredibly long, they also make her feet look like crabs claws. Under no circumstances is it okay to dress up as a crustacean. Especially a crustacean with cat whiskers, a horse tail and the Statue of Liberty’s crown. I’m all about pushing the envelope, just not when that envelope is filled with acid blotter paper and a list of cruel dares.
What I want to know is whether Kelis just wore this for the media attention, or if she actually likes those boots. I like a lot of Alexander McQueen boots, but these are hideous and only belong on the runway, music videos and possibly a boss Halloween costume. Definitely not the red carpet, or green carpet, or any carpet that leads to a place with people who can see the creepy shoes you’re wearing, and turn to the person next to them and say, “Do you think she was born like that? Is it like webbed toes, but like, crab toes or something?”
And speaking of toes I have one more thing to say and that is this: Cameltoe. Put it away, girl. Thanks.
