An orange Axl Rose, Lindsay says “Sha-na-na-na-na-na kneeees kneeees!”

Okay. I get it. I know what you’re trying to do, here, Lindsay.

You put on that headband, and that baggy Harley-Davidson shirt and try to walk around like you’re some kind of hippie. Y’know, a hippie with designer luggage and Nike shoes. Oh Lindsay, you’re a regular Joan Baez.

But Lindsay, I think you should be aware of something. The shiny headband with the shiny coat and leggings really gives you more of a washed-up, eighties hair band look. Honestly, when you looked in the mirror, you can’t tell me that you didn’t see Axl Rose staring right back at you. Or possibly David Lee Roth, or some Mötley Crüe reject. You’ve always struck me as the “Smoking in the Boys Room” kinda girl. Although I imagine most your bathroom activities involve more than one person in a stall, and a rolled up dollar bill.

I notice the Nike Dunk High Premiums you’re wearing, in black and gold. They look very comfortable, while also bold and eye grabbing. I mean, I would suggest tying them up and not pairing them with leggings, but you never listen to any of my advice anyway, do you? Leggings to you are what men are to Britney. Everyone tells her she shouldn’t date paparazzi or K-Fed, but she does anyway, and suffers for it.

Oh, and I want you to think about this: Long ago, when Michael Jackson was still black, Paul McCartney sold the rights to the Beatles catalogue to the gloved one. Jacko, in turn, sold the rights for the song “Revolution” to Nike, for use in a TV commercial. Hippies everywhere went insane with anger in a tie dyed cloud of incense and marijuana smoke. Just remember that story the next time you try the hippie look with Nikes, mmkay? Just put three pounds of hairspray in your mane and commit to the Axl look.

Source: A Socialite’s Life

Tags: axl rose, black, dunk high premium, gold, high top, joan baez, leather, lindsay lohan, michael jackson, nike, paul mccartney, sneakers

Posted: Mar 13th, 2008 at 2:53 pm