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The future will be run by our Croc overlords
When I first heard of Mammoth Crocs, I was a wee bit worried. I feared that Croc shoes everywhere had given birth to some kind of giant Croc, and with their oversized leader, these hideous clodhoppers were finally going to take over the Earth.
Thankfully, the Mammoth Croc is not a Bond villain in the form of an oversized shoe. It’s the Croc’s Arctic cousin:
It’s existence still leaves me a bit perturbed. Is this evidence that the Croc shoe is evolving, adapting to cooler climates so that it can spread it’s fugliness from pole to pole? Like a flu virus that adapts and gets stronger year to year, we may never get rid of the Croc.
Myself and my fellow bloggers have expressed our distaste for Crocs. Bill Maher is on our side. Even escalators have a problem with them. So why do I still see them everywhere? The human race must not surrender to the fug of the Croc!
It’s not that Crocs are useless. They’re excellent gardening shoes. They’re easy and comfortable for that quick run to the store. And I’m sure the mammoth version is wonderful for ploughing your driveway or hanging above your fireplace, to be filled with Christmas treats. Although Santa may give you a lump of coal for your crimes against fashion.
My point is that Crocs are not hip, stylish or flattering. Where you Croc fans see a fashion statement, I just see big, oafish feet.
[...] Supermodel Claudia Schiffer can pull off the Ugg look quite well, or at least much better than Lily Allen, due to her statuesque height and figure. I still think they look like moon shoes from the outback, and I shudder at the thought of a supermodel - someone who’s very job it is to promote the clothes on their backs - would be caught wearing Uggs. It’s really becoming some kind of Ugg pandemic. We must stop them, before they join forces with crocs to enslave the human race with fug! [...]